From a Greek epitaph to mine

I love poems. I dream of publishing my works before fire fetches me back to the divine cycle or earth and grass blanket over me (if the people I willed won’t be brave enough to completely part with my illusion). I once thought of composing my own epitaph. Until I bumped into this one in the pages of the book I find most useful during my college days.

Finding it that early in life, it struck me both as love-at-first-read and a prophecy at the same time. It felt like I could have written it. The words were so simple yet filled with depth and arousing a sense of exactness to my personal psyche. It gave hints of challenges, of ironies, and realizations – things that have happened and will eventually happen. I knew right then when I first read it that it will be the perfect summary of my life and all the things that came with it.

Reading it and owning it, at the back of my head, there’s this idea, of a longing to know and see first hand the tomb (or tombstone) it originally came. I feel I am somehow indebted to its original author that I need to offer my gratitude personally. The idea of accomplishing this is nearly impossible, I know. But the wanting, I know for sure, will always be there.

They say, no one can ever attend his own funeral. But we could at least be the one to summarize it for the benefit of those who really cared to know.

L’Envoi
from a Greek epitaph

I who loved beauty was not beautiful;
I cherished truth and yet I was not true;
I who remembered am so soon forgotten,
But I loved you.

I who loved mirth was well acquaint with sorrow;
I honoured freedom, yet I was not free;
But once, indeed, I knew the just equation,
For you loved me.

I was once so good with words

In the middle of doing my long, long overdue cleaning of my ‘magic box’ where all of my for sorting goes (much like a limbo where a thing is decided for keeping or for trashing, mostly it’s the latter), I’ve came across this supposedly wedding vow an old acquaintance asked me to write for him.

He misplaced the print-out I gave him so he never go to use this. I’ve thought of using it for my own but since the bells would not sing I thought i’d treat it as just an ordinary, out-of-whim composition.

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I was once so good with words

Just by a few phrases

I can move rocks and win hearts

I didn’t imagine I’d one day choke

Not for lack of inspiration

But because I was overwhelmed

With such genuine love

Like a castle fortress proud in isolation

I was overran

With pure dedication and compassion

So chaste that everything around seemed tall tale

You are the only truth I know

For this, my life is yours and yours alone

My heart will speak only truth

Thus will speak only your name

My life began when I spoke your name

Its echoes commenced the beating of my heart

So then when my heart is called to rest

I will say I love you second

And your name last